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My mother died when I was six. She was thirty-two, and the light and center of our family. Her death was sudden, a car accident, and my father had a very difficult time dealing, let alone explaining her disappearance to his three children. I was the easiest to pacify, being the youngest. All I needed to know was that mommy was in heaven and that she would always love me. My siblings, my older brother and sister, were not so easily subdued. My sister Ginny, who cried every night for months, was ten when it happened. No matter what anyone said, she thought it must be her fault our mother died, because she was on her way to pick Ginny up from a sleep over because Ginny got scared.

My brother Tom blamed everyone, and at the wise old age of twelve sought refuge in his high school ‘friends’ vodka, pot, and cigarettes. Then it was petty crime, and by the time he was fourteen he was incarcerated for stealing a car. My father started drinking when I was seven, then he started to go out at night, every weekend he’d stay out. I’d stay up in my room waiting for him to come home, but I’d fall asleep every time. As I got older, I’d stay up later and later. One night, when I was nine, he came home at three in the morning with a woman. I watched them get out of his car, and walk towards the house. He was stumbling, and his hands were undoing his pants zipper. She was fat, not very pretty. She was wearing a short skirt that did nothing good for her, and a low, low cut red shirt.

Two weeks later he told us he was marrying that woman, a week after that vows were exchanged and she moved in. Her name was Scilla. I always thought it was an odd name, but kind of pretty. On my tenth birthday she gave me the most beautiful red haired doll ever, and I named it after her. Tom hated Scilla, and after he got out of juvy he refused to come home. Ginny got shy, she was always quiet around Dad and Scilla, but once in a while she’d talk to me. She liked Scilla fine, she’d say, she just didn’t know how Dad could want another woman after Mom. She thought it would make our mother sad.

I didn’t see much wrong, really. Scilla seemed to make Dad happy, plus, she was losing weight, so I think she was happy too. When I turned fourteen Scilla finally realized she was actually skinny. On my birthday, she was braiding my brown hair, when suddenly she squealed.

“Look at my ass, Ellie! Ooh, it’s so cute! Ginny. Ginny! Come see!”

My sister came running. “What is it?”

“Ginny, look at me! I’m cute!”

Ginny and I were laughing, but it wasn’t at her. She was cute, but not really just because of her small ass. The lit up look on her face was adorable. Like a child who gets to buy both the bubble gum and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“Ellie, I don’t think you got enough for your birthday, and I need some new clothes for this butt. Let’s go shopping, girls.”

That day Scilla spent twelve hundred dollars on clothes for Ginny, herself, and me. The next month when the bill came, my father hit her. From then on, it was like he couldn’t stop. Anytime he’d get mad, Scilla would get punched. He wouldn’t hit me, he didn’t hit Ginny. Only Scilla felt his wrath.

One night in July, two months after my birthday, Scilla didn’t come home from work. Dad was pissed. He broke three plates making dinner, yelling at Ginny and me all night. Ginny cried, like always, which just pissed Dad off more. Late that night, when I was tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep, I heard Ginny crying. Then she stopped, and I heard her bed squeaking. I didn’t even know what was happening, but I thought about it all the time. She was eighteen years old.

Ginny was changed. Where she was quiet and steady around everyone, now she was jumpy, and she snapped at me about every little thing. Every night her bed would squeak, eventually the noises changed. I could hear my Dad groaning, panting. Once I even heard Ginny squeal.

Ginny moved out when I was sixteen. She was twenty years old. I haven’t seen her since. I got a card. On my seventeenth birthday. That’s the last I even heard from her.

On my eighteenth birthday, Scilla gave me a dildo with a vibe attachment. It was the most amazing thing I’d felt. She gave it to me at breakfast, in front of my Dad. I might’ve imagined it, but I’m pretty sure I saw him lick his lips when I gripped the rubber phallus.

Two weeks later, when I was getting ready for bed, Dad came in my bedroom. He was only wearing boxers, and his penis was sticking out, stiff. He was staring me down, his hand pumping on his cock. I was in between outfits, so my breasts and panties were exposed.

“Take those off.”

That was all he said, but there was this look in his eye, this raw anger. I was afraid not to obey. When my panties were off, he pulled my by the hair, twisting my body, moving me around until I was on my knees leaning over my bed. I cried out a little when his cock ısparta escort pushed into me. I wasn’t even wet, and I was a virgin, but for the dildo that I’d only used twice, and even that hurt a bit.

My Dad rammed himself into me, giving no heed to my needs. His fingers didn’t caress my clit, he didn’t lovingly kiss my neck or shoulders, he didn’t work my vagina till I was wet. Nothing. He just pushed into me over and over again. When he started to cum he pulled out of me to let loose his load over my asshole. I could feel it, sticky and wet, running slowly over my pussy lips, and down my inner thighs.

“Clean yourself off.”

He left me like that, bent over my bed, his cum dripping from me, that night, and many nights afterwards.

I left home a few months after my nineteenth birthday to go to college. I moved all the way across the country, from Vermont to Portland, Oregon. I needed to get away from my father and his wife, Scilla, who, once a friend, for the last year of my life with her, pretended I didn’t exist. She didn’t help me, she didn’t console me. She left me alone to be used and hurt.

The nightmares started my second night in school. In it, Scilla held me down while my father spread me open. He laughed as he unbuttoned his jeans, releasing a giant snake. The snake’s eyes glowed red as it wrapped itself around my thighs, and finally pushed it’s head into my vagina, filling me with venom.

Upon waking, my roommate met my eyes in an angry sort of way, informing me that I had kept her awake with my cries. I apologized, telling her I’d had a bad dream and that I was sure it wouldn’t happen again. She agreed, but the next night, and the ten nights following, I had the same nightmare. Every morning, she’d look at me with the same angry eyes. After two weeks, she requested to be moved.

The girl who replaced her, was a mousy girl, ironically named Minnie. She, unlike my first roommate, wore earplugs, so she wasn’t kept awake by my crying and moaning. It wasn’t until I started fighting my dream demons that she had a problem with me. One night I kicked the lamp by my bed over, causing it to fall on her head. She needed stitches, and after that, a new roommate.

I wasn’t surprised to be alone the rest of that first semester, what did surprise me was the suitcase and boxes taking up the other half of my dorm after my meeting with the academic advisor two days before the spring semester. For three days, it didn’t seem like anyone belonged to those boxes, but then, the night after my first set of classes, I came home to find all the boxes gone, and the suitcase open on the bed.

I waited, thirty minutes, before finally a girl dressed in a green summer dress and heels came through the door. It was cold outside, and so I asked her, in an attempt to learn something about her, if she was cold. She just smiled and told me she’d just come from Alaska.

“I’m used to the cold weather.”

“Oh. Wow, Alaska.”


That was it. The extent of our conversation. I went to my desk to rewrite my notes, and she left the room again after emptying her suitcase into the dresser on her side of the room. I went to bed early that night, and was somewhat surprised to see her in the other bed when I awoke in the morning.

She was propped up on her elbow, staring me down like the other two. “You sleep loudly.” She said.

“Right. Sorry. You’ll probably want to move out now.”

She laughed. “I’m not moving out. I just fucking got here. Do you have nightmares? Is that why your last roommates requested room transfers?”

“Um, yeah. Yes, I do. Sorry, but, I don’t even know your name.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. My name is Samantha. You can call me Sammie if you like.” She was smiling at me. “Now, what are we going to do about those nightmares?”

“I don’t know what you think you can do, but I’ve tried everything.”

Sammie shook her head at me. “Have you ever told anyone what your nightmares are about?”


“Why not.”

“I don’t know. No one’s asked. They all just get mad and move out. Besides, it’s not something I’d really want to talk about anyway.”

Sammie left the subject alone. She put up with me for weeks, she even tried to be my friend. I kept pushing her away, until one night I woke up crying. Sammie had heard me, and when I opened my eyes, she was leaning over me, stroking my hair.

“Shh, it’s alright. Ellie, don’t cry.”

I lay there in my bed with her speaking softly to me, the tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop crying. Sammie moved my bunched up blankets to lay next to me, pulling them back over the both of us. She wrapped her arm around me, and nuzzled her head into the nook of my neck. She ran her hand up and down the side of my waist, slowly easing my whirling mind.

“Do you want to tell me about it, Ellie. I promise I won’t judge you.”

I kastamonu escort shook my head. I was mortified. She was being so kind, how would she feel when she found out what my nightmares were really about. Sammie was the closest thing I’d had to a friend since I was eleven, I didn’t want to mess it up.

“I-” I stammered. “I just… I can’t. I don’t want-“

“Shh, you don’t have to. I just thought it might help if you talked about it. You don’t have to trust me, I know it’s probably really hard for you.” She sounded downfallen.

“I’m ready to trust you, I’m just afraid of how you’ll treat me once I tell you.” I was crying harder now. It was like I’d had a dam built in me, and her gentle urgings were dismantling it stone by stone. I was ready for the flood.

So I told her. I started with the dreams, the laughing and the snake. She didn’t laugh, she didn’t pull away from me. When I told her about my mother, she pulled me closer. Soon, my entire life story, skeletons and all, was laid bare on the bed between us. My tears had stopped, and now all there was was silence. I waited for a verbal reaction, but for the longest time, all I got was a steady hug. Then I realized she was crying.

“Sammie. I didn’t mean for you to cry. Are you okay?”

“I can’t believe the things you’ve been keeping inside you, Ellie. How did you not just… explode?” Sammie sniffled. “So now I guess we figure out how to get these nightmares to stop, huh?”

“I guess. As long as I remember I think I’ll still have the dreams. But hey, whatever you want to try, can’t hurt right?”

Sammie lifted herself over me and smiled. “Right.” She said. With that, she laid her hand to my face, sweeping her thumb across my cheek. My heart pounded as an unfamiliar sensation swept through me. It was like my whole body went hot and cool at the same time. Her hand moved to my neck as her eyes and mine met. Her gaze was questioning, and I knew what she was asking.

The moments before, as her lips moved closer and closer to mine, a thousand thoughts ran through my head. None of these thoughts changed my mind, I wanted her to kiss me. Then she did. Her soft lips pressed onto mine, tentative at first, then slowly she gained confidence. Her tongue slipped out to run over where my lips met, causing me to part them.

Her sweet tongue darted around in my mouth, feeling its way from side to side, dancing around my own tongue. Sammie had placed both of her hands on either side of my face, holding me to her, becoming more passionate in her kisses. My mind was going blank, only random thoughts about her and her curved body pressed against filtered through the barrier she was creating with her tenderness.

A part of me, somewhere deep inside, was beginning to cry. The only person who’d ever touched me in this manner was my father, and his were not loving caresses. His kisses had been rough, hurried. Any contact between my head and his hands was violent, punches, hair pulls, and slaps. Sammie, on the other hand, was holding me, softly, her fingers paying gentle heed to my hair, my neck, my cheeks and ears.

I’d never even thought about a woman before, not like this, but here she was, this delicious curve of a female, presenting to me a dream. Never had I thought that my light, my salvation, would come in such a form. She was so sweet, so soft and tender, yet somehow she seemed hungry. It was the way she was kissing me, slow and mild, but with a pressure that spoke volumes. She wasn’t just comforting me. This woman, this girl, my roommate, wanted me. Sammie wanted to be with me.

After what felt like glorious ages, Sammie broke our kiss, only to begin to trail small ones over my face and down my neck. Her lips set my neck on fire, they made my heart skip beats. Her tiny tongue darted out to swirl in circles over my smoldering skin. My breathing was heavy, and my pussy was getting wet. I hadn’t been able to make myself wet since my father started hurting me. I never even masturbated, and here I was, soaking, my insides sobbing for her love.

Sammie’s kisses stopped at the collar of my night dress. She lifted herself over me to look at my dazed face. She smiled and placed her hand on my cheek, sliding her fingers over my hair. “You are so beautiful, you know that?”

I shook my head and smiled shyly. Biting my lip I reached up and brushed her hair from her face. I wanted to tell her how pretty she was, or pull her back down to me and taste those lips again, but I couldn’t seem to find the courage. It was this moment she chose to, in one swift move, straddle my stomach and remove her pajama top. Her breasts and tummy were left completely bare, shinning in the dim light through our dorm window.

Sammie took my hands and placed them on her breasts. She was warm and soft, and I just wanted more of her. I pulled her down to me, her gorgeous breasts hovering above kayseri escort my eager lips. I took one nipple into my mouth, licking and suckling, trying hard not to devour her. She moaned sweetly as I pulled at her nipples, licking over and around, running my lips and tongue across her breasts, dipping into the space between. I was taking her in, memorizing every inch of her.

She pulled away from me, leaning back for a better angle, to kiss me again. She locked me into the most amazing kiss, passionate and sweet. Her hands landed on either side of my waist, smoothing my night dress to my skin. Then she ran them up my sides, finally stopping them on my breasts, molding and massaging them gently.

She put her lips to my ear and whispered, “I want you. I want to see you, taste you. Please take your nightie off, Ellie. Here, I’ll help you.”

Sammie stood up and pulled me up from the bed by my hands. She brushed her fingertips over my silk covered breasts, sending a shiver over my body. Her hands then made their way down my body, to the end of my night dress, just below my hips. I shuddered as her fingers brushed skin. Seeing me shudder, she grinned, pulling at the end of my dress, running her fingers up my thighs to my tummy, finally lifting my gown over my head.

For a few moments she just stared at me, taking in every part of me with a sort of blazing gaze. Then her hands began to roam, feeling every inch of my body. Our lips met again, and as we kissed, Sammie bent me back onto the bed, resting my head back on the pillow.

“You are so beautiful.” She whispered.

I nuzzle my head against her, silently thanking her. She kissed me all over my face, her hands making their way down my sides, sending tingles all through my bare skin. Her kisses trailed down, following her hands to my tummy, then back upwards. She laid gentle kisses around my breasts, finally taking one throbbing nipple into her mouth. Sammie licked and suckled, sending delicious tingles all through my body.

My pussy was throbbing by the time Sammie’s fingers finally made it there. She parted me with two fingers, using her other hand to graze my clit. Then she circled my vagina, finally pushing two, then three fingers inside. I jumped a little, and, as if she was expecting it, Sammie pushed the flat of my stomach down to the bed, kissing my forehead.

“It’s okay, baby. Relax, you’ll love this, I promise.” She smiled at me, then lowered herself so she was facing my pussy. She kissed my thighs and hips, gradually blazing a trial to my vagina. Her sweet tongue darted out to lick the outer lips, moving quickly inward, lighting a fire as it darted over my clit. Her fingers began to pump in and out of my vagina. So many sensations, all of them new, I knew I was ready to cum.

Sammie sensed my body tensing, and began to lick and pump at a more steady pace, concentrating on just a few spots. She was guaranteeing me and orgasm, like somehow she knew exactly what I needed. I hadn’t even known.

The build up was all sparks and warmth. Soon waves of pleasure were shooting through me, sending me over the edge. As my body shook I reached my hands down to hold her head to me. I could feel her smile, her cheeks pressing into my thighs.

I was grinning ear to ear when Sammie stopped and looked up at me. We both laughed with glee as she raised herself up to lay next to me. I turned to face her, running my finger up and down the side of her waist. Her skin tensed into goose-bumps everywhere I touched. I twirled my fingers around her nipples, which stood at attention, ready for me. I lifted myself up and pushed on Sammie’s shoulder, laying her flat on the bed.

I lowered my mouth to her breasts, paying a liberal amount of attention to each nipple, squeezing her soft mounds with my hands. Sammie was moaning, I knew she was loving everything I was doing, and I couldn’t wait to give her more. I kissed my way down her stomach, using my hands to spread her thighs apart. She twitched, and squealed a little when my fingers parted her pussy lips.

I lowered my head and breathed her in. She was sweet and musky, and her pussy was glistening wet. I looked up at her, waiting for some kind of encouragement. I didn’t know what I was doing, and while I was excited and wanted to please her, I was scared I would do it wrong, or something.

“I’ve never-” I started, but Sammie cut me off with a shush, shaking her head and smiling. She pushed my head down and lifted her pussy to my face. I began to lick her nub, which grew gradually. Her hot pussy got wetter and wetter as I started to penetrate her with my fingers.

She made the cutest little squeaks, which got louder as she came closer to climaxing. When she came, her whole body tensed. She dug her fingers into my head as her body gave one shake, and then she let go. She lay there on my bed, breathing rapidly. I wrapped my arms around her midsection and laid my head on her tummy.

When she came down, Sammie rested her hands on my head, stroking my hair until we fell asleep. Life changed for me that night. Any time I started to have a bad dream, Sammie only had to touch me, soothe me, and everything was fine.

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