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This chapter deals with switching POVs. The POV will be stated before each section. Hope you enjoy.



Kyle was a friend that I didn’t think I could have gotten. I had plenty of friends from school but none that I felt as close to as Kyle. I mean there was something about him that just made us click. From the day we met, I’ve felt that he was something of a brother I never had. When he told me he was gay, I was surprised for sure, but it also made me realized that he too felt this connection we had to have him trust me enough with this secret.

But that was before he started hanging around with that Corey dude. I mean he was a nice guy from what I could tell, but seeing as I wasn’t really friends with him I couldn’t be sure. When Kyle started hanging around Corey, I got a little suspicious. Corey was a hot guy, denying it would have been pointless. Kyle on the other hand was the shy new kid. Now from what I could piece together, people like Corey and Kyle don’t usually hang out much. I was stereotyping but there was some truth to it.

It didn’t help that Corey gave Kyle rides a little too many times for it to be simply friendly. I had noticed that Corey lived on campus, which made me a little suspicious when I saw Corey giving Kyle rides to school. I mean it was one thing to send someone home, but getting up early when you live on campus, only to go fetch someone and come back was a little odd to say the least.

Ever since this friendship between Corey and Kyle started, I have never had a weekend to spend with Kyle. The first couple of weeks we hung out during the weekends, me showing him around town and what not. But his weekends have mysteriously been full ever since they started hanging out.

I had suspected that Kyle and Corey were dating, but I discredited that because Kyle would have told me about it. Wouldn’t he? Not only that but Corey had showed no indications of being gay, and I could’ve sworn I’ve seen him flirting a little with a couple of girls before. I tried to think of other possibilities but nothing came to me. There was the possibility that Corey was in the closet though. In which case I felt a sudden feeling of protection for Kyle. If he was indeed in the closet, I wondered how Kyle felt about it. It must be horrible to have a secret relationship.

It was a Friday and I was going to try to hang with Kyle that weekend. After class that day I managed to catch up with him in the hallway. He was heading out to the car park, I assumed on his way home. Fortunately for me he was alone that time, Corey nowhere to be seen. I ran up to him, calling his name. He turned when he heard me and gave a warm smile.

“Hey Angie.” He greeted.

“Hey. I was wondering if you were free tomorrow. Perhaps we could hang out or something. Catch a movie maybe?” I suggested.

“Oh I would love that.” For a moment I thought it was an acceptance of my invitation. “But unfortunately, I already have other plans this weekend.” I would say I was a little disappointed if not for the fact that I was expecting that reply.

“Oh, well some other time then.” I said, turning and about to walk away.

“How about next week?” He called out. “You free on Monday? Next weekend is fine if you want too.” He said and I smiled.

“Monday’s great. See you after class then.” With that he turned and headed back to his truck. I, on the other hand headed to the library to do a little research on a paper I was doing. After so long Kyle and I were going to hang out again, something that I had been wanting to do for so long and I admit that I was happy about it.

After about an hour of scanning books and the Internet in the hopes of finding some material to use, I decided to call it a day and head off. I lived on campus so I headed towards the dorms. I was crossing the car park when I saw Corey stepping into his car. A part of me wanted to go over and talk to him, find out what his relationship with Kyle was, but the other part didn’t feel good meddling with Kyle’s personal life. Eventually curiosity got the better of me and I found myself making my way over to his car, peering in slightly. Corey was in the process of opening a letter but I startled him by knocking on bursa escort his window. He looked at me and confusion graced his expression. We didn’t talk, so it would have been kind of strange for me to initiate a conversation with him.

He wound down his window, his hand still on the letter that he was about to read. “Hi Angela, is there something you needed?”

I imagine this thing going wrong and Kyle getting mad at me for this and for a moment thought about playing it off as a mistake. I took a deep breath and decided that I was doing this, no turning back now. “We need to talk, can I get in?” I asked. He raised an eyebrow but nodded his response. I walked over to the passenger side and got in. He threw the letter he was holding onto the dashboard, probably opting to read it later. As he did the paper unfolded just a little that I could see a table printed on it. One line in particular caught my eye. In capitalized letters spelt, ‘HIV’. Realization dawned on me. He had gotten himself tested.


I had gone and gotten myself tested a few weeks ago when I felt myself growing closer to Kyle. Even though I wanted to takes things a step at a time, I couldn’t deny that Kyle was slowly becoming a really big and important part in my life and getting tested was just another step I needed to take. It was just a precaution though. Before Kyle I had never been with anyone so chances were pretty good that I was clean, although I had to be sure. I had barely opened the letter when Angela came over asking to talk to me. I found that a little strange but decided on the polite thing and let her in. I did hope that it would be quick though as I was meeting Kyle that night. He had left earlier when I still had class and we decided to just meet up at his place afterwards. So after class I went to pack a few stuff and that’s when found the letter. Scott was in the room so I decided to open it in the privacy of my car, or so I thought.

Angela got in and I decided that my test results could wait, throwing the piece of paper onto my dashboard. I looked to Angela and could see her eyes trained onto the letter sitting in front of me. I coughed to get her attention, which she did with a shake of her head. She remained silent though; not saying anything but just stared at me. Saying that I got a little uncomfortable under her gaze was an understatement. “Um…so…you wanted to talk to me?” I asked.

“Oh uh right.” She stammered. She looked at her hands, thinking about what to say. “Nice car by the way.” She said. I knew she was stalling now. I replied a thanks but waited for her to continue. “So it must be pretty serious huh, if you wanted to get tested. Does Kyle know?” She said. The blood drained from my face. How the hell did she know? Her eyes trained on the letter. “May I?” She asked, her hand stopping midway to the letter. I was so shocked I couldn’t say anything. She took my silence as consent and grabbed the letter, scanning through it. After a silent twenty seconds, she finally spoke. “You’re clean.”

I would have felt relief but my shock overrode any other emotion I could feel at that moment. She placed the letter back on the dash. “Look Corey, Kyle is my best friend, almost like a brother to me, and I would really hate to see him get hurt.” Her statement knocked me out of my stupor, finally finding my voice.

“I would never hurt him.” I said defensively. I knew that I couldn’t promise that but in terms of hurting him intentionally I wouldn’t.

“You would think that, but don’t you think you’re hurting him right now?” She asked. I didn’t get her. He wasn’t even with me at the moment, how could I hurt him. Hell I was just about to go see him until she wanted to talk to me. “You’re in the closet and I respect that, but don’t you think Kyle deserves better. Don’t you think he deserves someone whom he doesn’t have to hide?” What she said brought back my insecurities about our secret relationship. I didn’t want to hide our relationship and I was genuinely trying to come out to more people but I needed time. “I’m not trying to be pessimistic here but realistic. The world isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. You should know that being gay is not the malatya escort easiest thing in the world.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” I asked. I didn’t like where this conversation was headed. I could feel the doubt in my relationship with Kyle rising with each word she said.

“Why? Because you need to know if you think this is worth it. Is Kyle worth the extra hardship.” In my heart I knew the answer was yes. Kyle had made me happier than I had ever been in my entirely life, but my head kept trying to weigh the pros and cons. “Because I want to know if you are willing to come out for Kyle, to make sure he has the kind of relationship that he deserves. I want to know if you think that a gay relationship is worth it and if Kyle worth it.” She said. At this point I was silent. I didn’t know what to say. My thoughts were racing and every one of them in conflict over this matter. I was willing to come out for Kyle, that’s what I’ve been doing wasn’t it, but I knew that I wasn’t giving him the relationship that he deserves. My parents and friends were one thing but could I really go to school and just say that I was gay. “Just think about it.” She said, opening the door and leaving the car, leaving me with alone with my thoughts.

I think it was ten minutes before I moved. I had come to a decision of what I had to do. I just hope to god that it was the right thing.


I made my way back home, happy that I finally made plans with Angela again. I mean she was the first friend I made since moving and I do admit that I hadn’t been spending enough time with her. I was just glad she initiated it and we had a ‘date’ set the following Monday. But the thing that made me the happiest was the thought of my upcoming weekend with Corey.

When I pulled into my driveway, I went to get my letters. I scanned the various envelopes, a couple of bills and few adverts and one that I had been waiting for. I went into my house and tossed the other letters onto my coffee table. What I held in my hands were my STD test results. The weeks that passed had really instilled in me the fact that I was seriously in love with Corey. More so than anyone I’d ever been with. I opened the letter and scanned through the contents and let out the breath I was holding when everything came back negative.

It was that moment, holding that piece of paper in my hand that I decided that day was it. That day was the day that I was going to tell Corey the extent of my feelings for him. I was falling hard for him, and prolonging it would have only made the outcome all the more painful if it didn’t turn out the way I hoped. I needed to take that chance and hope for the best. I placed the letter on the coffee table and smiled to myself. Truth be told, as we spent more time together, I had an inkling that Corey did share my feelings. He has gone above and beyond what I would have expected of him. In the 3 months that we were together, he had gone from being in the closet, to coming out to his best friend and his family, to which I couldn’t help but feel proud of him.

The more I thought about his sweet actions, like when Mrs Kent came over that first time and saw him, how direct he was about our relationship, the more it quelled any worries that I had. With each passing minute my smile grew bigger.

My phone gave out a short chime, indicating a new text. I whipped out my phone and looked and saw that it was a text from Corey. I opened it and looked at what was typed, “Hey, not coming over tonight.” I was disappointed to say the least, wanting to talk to him about us but there would have been other times. I typed my response, “That’s fine. You’re coming over tomorrow then?” I waited for a reply and what I read completely removed the smile from my face.

The text read, “No. Not on Sunday either. Kyle I think that we should take a break from each other. I’m sorry.” I read the text once, twice, three times before the message sank in. He was breaking up with me. My mind went blank. What the fuck did I do? Immediately blaming myself. I finally shook my thoughts away and had the common sense to call him. I waited for the ringing but his phone had been turned off. I tried again çanakkale escort but to no avail. I was freaking out. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I would have been prepared if this happened after I told him I loved him but not like this. Not without me saying anything.

I thought about the next best person to call. Zack. Maybe he could tell me something. I search through my contacts and came upon Zack’s number. I was about to press the dial button when my phone started ringing. On the screen showed Zack’s name and it only made me more worried.

“Zack, I was just about to call you. Please tell me you know more about this than I do.” I said, panic in my voice. I wasn’t even sure if he knew anything about it or was it just coincidence that he called.

“Kyle, what happened? Did you guys fight or something?”

“No he just broke up with me, over text.” I said, I felt my voice crack and fought back the tears.

“Shit! He texted me saying that he wouldn’t be contactable for sometime and that you were probably gonna call and told us not to worry about him. I knew something was up so I tried calling him but he turned off his phone, so I called you instead, but I didn’t expect him to break up with you. Shit what the fuck is wrong with him?”

“I don’t know Zack.” I said putting my palm over my face. The initial panic of the situation was starting to subside and I figured that it’s just Corey going through something and if he was, I wasn’t going to push him. “Just give him some time to think, he’ll come around eventually, I hope.”

“You okay? This isn’t like him. He’s probably going through something right now.”

“I really hope so Zack.”

“Yeah well, I better go tell my parents. Call me if you hear anything from him.” Zack said.

“Yeah, you do the same. Bye.” I hung up and leaned back into the sofa and looked to the ceiling. This whole thing made no sense. I tried thinking of reasons for his actions but nothing came to mind. Could it have been the pressures of our relationship? I knew he had problems about keeping this a secret, but I had always told him to take his time, kept reassuring him that I was perfectly happy the way things were progressing, which I genuinely was. I looked at my phone again. It was probably useless but I dialled Corey’s number once again. When the call went to voicemail I spoke in as calm a voice as I could manage. “Hey, if you have something on your mind and you want to talk about it, call me. I’m here.” I said. I tried to keep as much affection out of it, seeing that it could have been the problem. Right now I was just going to offer him a friend. Friend. Then it hit me. Maybe Scott knew something.

I search for his number and hit dial. It rang a couple of times before he answered. “Hey Kyle.”

“Scott did Corey say anything to you recently?” I asked.

“No, last I saw him he was packing and headed for your place. He left around half an hour ago, shouldn’t he be there by now?” Scott asked.

“No and he isn’t going to be. He just broke up with me.” I heard Scott choke over the phone. He must have been drinking something because he started coughing before he spoke again.

“He did what?” I wasn’t about to repeat it. Saying it only made me worry more. “Shit did he explain anything? What did he say when he called?”

I felt a pang in my chest. My eyes started to water. I probably wouldn’t have felt so distraught if he had actually called instead of texting me. “He didn’t.” was all I managed to choke out.

“Oh…Dude you need me to come over or something?” He said, probably understanding what I meant.

“Nah thanks anyway. I think I need to be alone for a while.”

“Okay but just call if you need anything okay?”

“Yeah thanks Scott.” I hung up, taking a deep breath to stop the tears from flowing. I felt like calling Angela but I knew I couldn’t. Angela didn’t know Corey was gay and even in the state that I was in, I couldn’t out him like that. I took another deep breath, got up and walked to the kitchen to get myself a cup of water. I downed a whole glass and looked to my watch. It was barely 8 but I wanted to head to bed. I dragged myself to my bedroom and threw myself onto the sheets. I pulled the duvet over myself, the warmth reminding me of Corey’s warmth whenever he snuggled with me. I kicked the thought from my head as a single tear escaped my eyes. I closed them, hoping that this had all been a dream and I would wake up after a good sleep. I was lying to myself though, the pain I felt was too real for it to be a dream and I knew it.

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